Bad Open Mic Chronicles #2: Virgin Territory

Someone signing up for the first time at an open mic gives me mixed feelings. New faces who bring their friends and want to give stand up a try is honestly what keeps weekly Open Mic shows alive. By all means, the regulars and guys/gals who care about doing this are the padding on a show, but without new bringers local comics would run out of new people to perform in front of pretty quick.

The problem I have noticed with most first time stage dwellers, is how quickly they switch to only wanting to do "shock" humor to stick out. It doesn't bug me as a comic. I love dirty stuff and am usually on board with most people who do it correctly. Although, as for someone who runs a good comedy room and actually does that crazy thing where he wants people to come back consistently (I know... crazy thought for an open mic) it makes me a little fidgety. 

So, here is some opinions for people who have never been on stage first to give a look through. I say "opinion" and not "advice" because I'm not ego driven enough to think what I say is correct. (In most walks of life) Good chance... I'm wrong. If you speak to any woman I have ever dated, they will confirm the consistency of me being incorrect in most matters. If I knew better I would be further a long. But, think of this more as things to avoid to not piss off someone running a room you want stage time at: 

1. Show Up On Time - Before even getting on stage it's easy to make a room runner be snarky when saying your name. In fact, for your first time... show up earlier than what was told. It shows a gung ho and excited attitude. Sometimes that is all it takes to get more stage time. Plus, being late is just a dick move (or bitch move... don't worry ladies... I'm including you as well). I generally think if you are new and late to a show, you are going to be late getting off the stage as well. Which leads to:

2. Go Under Your Time - Time flies on stage. It's like having sex (what am I saying?... I am talking to people interested in doing comedy... it's like masturbating) - time is going to go by way quicker than what you think it will. Plan to go under your time. At least a minute under. For a couple of reasons. If you are just dipping your toe in the water to see if it is warm, don't do so by getting a running start and doing a cannon ball. Literally dip your big toe in the water and get a temperature. Or push someone else in and see what their reaction is. If they shiver for hours after, then you might want to prepare and put a couple extra shorts on before jumping in yourself. Going over your time, no matter how many shorts you wear, isn't going to do you any favors. 

3. Don't go filthy - I get it. People see Doug Stanhope, Jim Norton, Jim Jefferies, ect and think: those guys are really funny (they are) and the crowd is going ape shit - that's my style and that's what I'm going to do. There is a reason they can get away being offensive, they are funnier than you and their crowd paid to see them. No one at an open mic, outside of your friends, paid to see YOU. Your job is to be funny, not offensive and try to walk a room. All most people see is a dirty famous comics DVD's or CD releases - go watch Doug Stanhope in front of a crowd that doesn't know who he is and aren't that into dirty stuff. He's talked about it, many times, it doesn't go well. And he is one of the best comics in the world. How do you think you are going to fair? That doesn't mean go Disney with it, but saying "fuck" every other word for five minutes, or seeing if you can top the other degenerates and scumbags on the show (you can't, long time comics have you beat in experience in those fields) isn't cool and it shows lack of ability. 

4. Don't be racist/sexist/gay bashing - Yes, all those jokes in the right context are great. Those subjects are open to be hit and made fun of (just like any subject) - telling a joke about why you don't like black guys that is way more hateful than funny is not cool. If that's what you do with your friends when no one is around, then do your thing. We all tell edgy and sometimes mean jokes around our friends for laughs. There is a difference, our friends know we are joking... a crowd might not. If I get women, gay, or non-white people offended I generally don't care... unless they have a legit reason because some ass went on stage and wasn't funny with it and instead came across hateful and mean to a paying crowd. Do those jokes when you are able to dig out of a hole if they miss. On your first time... you won't be able to. 

5. Don't insult the crowd - This is my biggest pet peeve. Not a heckler who is a dick, then it's straight up "sick'em". But if the crowd doesn't think you are funny and your response is to get defensive and call them stupid, or attack them as a person and their appearance personality (going off of nothing but your two second view of them) I personally won't let someone on stage again after that. It's juvenile and a bad thought process. Some people, most probably, aren't going to find you all that funny. Especially at first. I've been doing this for a while and I don't even find myself funny. So I don't get mad at people who agree with me. I want people to come back to my room (I know... again... crazy thought) and to have someone who has no regimen of doing this insulting the crowd that I put hours into promoting to, glad handing, thanking, and all around being appreciative that they would take time out of their night to come see a show to have you insult them does two things. One, it makes you lose. If you get defensive and not being funny, you lost, they won. Also, you could attack a comics friends. A comic who has been around a lot longer than you and is a valuable part of the show. If it comes down to "he said, she said" - guess who is winning that battle? If things don't go well (and they won't many, many, many times) just suck it up and try again. 

6. Blow the Guy Running The Show - I don't mean blow smoke up his ass and pat him on the back. I mean literally get on your knees and blow him. It will result in more stage time if you are good, or permanent banishment if you use teeth and are terrible. And if he put a lot of work into the show... cup the balls. Just as an added thanks. (Just kidding, just make sure to say hi and bye and remind him of your name. No thanks are needed. A lot of people sign up and a handshake, a good bye, and a mention of your name can make the person remember your name if you sign up again via email or if it's a few weeks until they see you again.)

There. Now write some dick jokes, drink excessive amounts of liquor, tell your friends, and become the next Richard Pryor. It really is that simple. 

Let The Games Begin

I hate comedy competitions. That's blunt and not very well thought out. Let me rephrase it a bit more diplomatically: Comedy competitions are everything that is wrong with comedy. There we go... much better.

I told someone outside the world of stand up the other day about a yearly comedy competition that gets pretty good attention here in the Midwest. I explained that there are weeks and weeks of first round shows and it ultimately leads to a finals night where the "best" performers in the area compete against each other for cash prizes and chances at weekend gigs. Their response: "wow... that sounds really dumb." And I couldn't agree more.

For starters, their are judges to every comedy competition. Sometimes... it's just the crowd. So, basically whoever brings the most people is going to win. "But Jesse... that sounds like a good way to get people to a show and root for their friend." Totally true, and I understand the business side of it. But, a lot of times it's just a panel, or other comics who are making the ruling with either a thumbs up or a thumbs down. Comedy is subjective. More subjective than even other forms of entertainment. Say there is a movie festival, and they are going to give an award for best movie. There is an awesome suspense/thriller/horror movie that is just the bees knees. From top to bottom it's simply well done for that genre. But, oh ho ho, wait a second there Quick Draw McGraw, the judges... yeah... they like chick flick movies way better.. even if that chick flick has Jennifer Garner in it. So... they are going to vote for the movie they like better going in most of the time.

Leading us to: Anything with judges is not a real competition. A three point shoot out is a real competition. Know why? Because the guy who makes the most three pointers wins. Home Run Derby? Real competition. Horse Race? Real competition. Hot Dog Eating Contest? Yep... more of a competition than anything comedy related (and sometimes easier to watch.) But... but... but... there are judges in the Olympics for gymnastics... are you saying those aren't real competition? Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying. It's someone's opinion. Opinions are variables. If a comic who finished last in a competition had five different judges, he or she might have won first.

I've done comedy competitions before, I've won one before (albeit a one nighter), and from here on out I refuse to ever do one again for one simple reason: It turns comics against each other. Comedy is already competitive enough. There are already enough douche bags in stand up comedy. There are also a lot of really great, kind, supportive human beings that do stand up. Pitting us against each other in a FAKE competition to me will only create hard feelings (because comics are the most sensitive bunch of pansies, myself included, that anyone would care to meet). I believe comics should stick together and be supportive of one another. I'm not talking about just anyone who jumps on stage at an open mic and says, "I'm a comic." I mean people who travel and take what we do seriously. Which is simple: We all tell jokes and want to make people laugh.

That's it. Sure, we all want to make money and be famous. I would love to do that, but I don't want to do it at the expense of others and making enemies along the way. Anyone who takes a comedy competition seriously is someone I never want to be on the same show with. If anyone reading this says, "Hey... I take comedy competitions seriously!" You are a colossal douche. Pretty sure that should be in the dictionary under the definition of the word. To me, if you take a competition with your fellow comics seriously, that is just a sign - a sign that you would sell any of us down the river for nothing more than two minutes of extra stage time. Those are the kind of people we need to ween out of the local comedy scenes. They bring everyone down. But they don't bring us down near as much as comedy competitions.

Batter Up!

Spring season for MLB is underway! It feels like baseball just ended, which is mostly due to the fact that it did just end as the season is a painfully long affair. But! This isn't about my finger wagging and personal disagreement with the people in charge of these decisions (because no one would want to read that), this is about how the game of baseball reminds me of a stand up show (because maybe one person might want to read that).

If you are the emcee, your job is to merely get on base. As my baseball coach use to tell me in a lead off situation: "Son... a walk is as good as a hit."

Now, there's a good chance he said that because the odds of me getting a hit were slim and the chances the 12-year-old on the pitcher's mound walking me on four consecutive pitches because he thought bouncing the ball over the plate constituted as a strike was much more in my favor. Never mind that, the idea behind it holds true... you just need to get on base. Normally when you emcee, you get on base alright... but it's because you took one for the team and caught a curve ball that didn't quite curve square in the helmet. The pitcher wasn't warmed up and you were the sacrifice to get the game rolling.

Sometimes, in that same vein, it's your job to lay down a bunt.

It's always painful to get that duty, it always goes down the same way. First, the comedy club coach, who has never even laced up a pair of cleats but is convinced he could play in the pros, gives you the tap on the shoulder and says, "No one is here to see you... I know I told you to take all the time you want and swing away... but get up and lay down a bunt in under three minutes. As you walk to the plate, you think SCREW THAT! You are a solid hitter and have come prepared with a new 21 ounce aluminum bat that will knock it out of the park. You're going to hit a home run and show him you are the real star of thi...

*SWING AND A MISS*

You practically fell down and are covered in dirt from that zinger.

You take a few more punchy cuts and stare down the line... and that's when you get the international signal that you are nothing more than the guy who will be bunting and advancing the show along so the hero people came to see can clear the bases. The crowd gives the international signal: they touche a glass to their non-laughing mouth, sits on their hands, then move their eyes back and forth from the stage to their cell phone

 ...ah yes... no mistaking that... you've just been given the light to keep it quick, lay one down, then get the hell off the field.

But sometimes... once in a great while... after so many sacrifice flies that go unnoticed, after batting 1-4 with an infield single that dribbled past the pitcher to which you still high five your buddies in the club house and say "it was the hardest hit ball of the game," and after dwelling away as a utility infielder that could be an All-Star pitcher if dumb coaches every where knew that all the 100-mile an hour fast balls in the world aren't the true art that is your alternative, lost on the modern world, sloppy looking Knuckle ball... on that rare occasion... you get to bat clean up!

Because always remember... with patience, a little bit of luck, and a field to play on...

YOU CAN START YOUR OWN DAMN TEAM!

Then... when that day comes... YOU make the line up! Grab a helmet, swig some Gatorade (with copious amounts of Vodka inside), and get in the on deck circle... when you run your own shows and all your friends show up because you made it free ticket night at the old ball park, then it's your time to shine and you can proudly say... Batter Up!

The Villains of Comedy

Not all villains are printed in comic books. There are real life ones that we have to deal with daily. In school, it was the bully. At your job, maybe it's your boss. At the ice cream parlor it's that hoity toity new guy who won't give you a second scoop for free. But in stand up comedy, the villain is the heckler.

Some of these "bad guys" of a comedy show are simply henchmen. Low level followers who cause no real damage and are pretty easily disposed of if they don't come in large groups. Then... there are the mastermind criminals. The ones who the plot is about to center around. Even when you think they are as good as dead... they somehow come back for another hurrah.

In no particular order, these are some of the arch nemesis of our laugh-fighting super hero's, the comic:

1. The Hot Girl
Her powers include:

Fire Shooter: She will text so much during your set that her thumbs become better fire starters than two sticks and a magnifying glass. 

Mentally Scrambles Your Decision Making: She will interrupt your set at least half a dozen times with social commentary, usually beginning with her catchphrase, "oh my God." But, because everything "The Hot Girl" says is so simplistic, so obvious, so downright borderline autistic - you hold off on making fun of her because you are convinced she is actually mentally handicapped.

Has Bulletproof Armor: Even when you decide to make fun of her, "The Hot Girl's" brain is covered in bulletproof armor made by that anti-ACME company known as "Self Delusion." She is so conceited, so egotistical, so in love with her own self and the prospects of one day getting her own reality show on E! right after she blows the right executive like her hero Chelsea Handler did, that even a barrage of top shelf bazooka jokes fired at her in rapid succession can fall like empty shells to the ground as she continues to behave the same way. Because all men have ever, or will ever want her for is sex... no male has ever told her to shut up. Women have, probably many times, but alas, "The Hot Girl" was given extra armor by her minions of desperate men who told her the only reason a woman would say that is because they are jealous of her for being so "smart, creative, and outgoing." (None of which... are remotely true.)

#2: The Hipster
His powers include:

Stonewall Technique: This villain is unhappy and brooding, and feels the need to let you (and the world who has shunned him) know it. He will sit up front so you can get a bird's eye view of him turning his back to you and remaining that way for the rest of your set in an attempt to distract and embarrass you. Other times they will sit with their arms folded, as is customary in hipster culture, and is sign language for, "No matter what you say, I'm going to try not to laugh... because that's what's expected of me... at a comedy show." He wants to let you know he is not interested in you... because you represent effort, will to succeed, and attempt at creativity. Something "The Hipster" is strongly against.

Ability to Teleport: After several corrections, "The Hipster" has the power to seamlessly move from one place to another. Actually, he can only teleport one place, which is outside, as this villain will do roughly every ten to fifteen minutes mostly because he needs to smoke cigarettes, order another nine dollar overrated stout beer, and discuss with his followers how you prefer the comedy of some guy you saw once ten years ago that no one has, or never will, hear of.

Enlarged brain: Make no mistake.. this villain has a tendency to be sharp. His two week old beard, tattoos of birds that represent something no one cares about, and discount clothing from Goodwill may make him look like an un-intelligent hobo (as opposed to many of the smart hobos you are accustom to), but has the ability to have a comeback witty enough to get the crowd on his side. It's a sneak attack, and you must be ready for it.

3. The Young Drunk Guy
His powers include:

Chameleon Ability: Although you can hear his interruptions, "Young Drunk Guy" is normally surrounded by a group of other guys who painfully look exactly like him. So much so, that even if you locate him within the group, your second glance over becomes confusing as you can't tell which wool nit cap, faded jean, and sexually charged T-shirt that was purchased at Spencer's Gifts wearing man started the initial heckle.

Has No Limits: Once any sort of his man-hood has been questioned, the fuse has been set, and the fight will not end until your set is over, or he is drug out. Any mention of him being inadequate, in anyway, will turn him into a verbal version of The Hulk. He even turns green, but that's not until later when he drunkenly pukes on his shirt. The "Young Drunk Guy" has already had a comic book like battle with the sometimes hero, sometimes villain, simply known the world over as "Reality." In their initial fight, "Reality" took a shrink ray to this villain's genital region, and since that day he has felt inadequate with every form of life and only feels at maximum power when he is the center of attention, even if that attention is bad. He seeks revenge on anyone and everyone who dare alter people's eyes away from him.

4. The Middle Aged Soccer Mom
Her powers include:

Black Out The Sun: The spotlight is not yours... she is taking it one way or another. This villain is known to hunt in packs sometimes known as, *gulp* Bachelorette Parties. Although attending what they clearly are away is a live show, the "Middle Aged Soccer Mom" will be convinced that the real reason people showed up is because her friend Annie is getting married to a man who obviously settled.

Can Talk Out Of Both Sides of Her Mouth: Not just in consistency and volume, but in her reasoning as well making her kind impossible to understand, thus cloaking her lack of sense. She will drink out of a little penis straw, while wearing penis necklaces, and mount a giant blow up plastic penis and ride it with the vigor of a cowboy bank robber making his getaway - yet the second you say anything dirty... she is so offended she can't even finish eating the testicle portion of the penis shaped cake.

She's A Politician: She will be offended by everything you say. She can find something wrong about a joke that involves puppies and rainbows... and will let you know about it. The second you offend her delicate sensibilities, which will probably happen the second you say, "hi" on stage, she will make it a point to provide a smear campaign about your take on the issues. She will have low poll ratings with her fellow constituents , will be far over matched yet unwilling to drop out of the race, and will say something incriminating that makes her lose face to anyone who once was on her side. Yet, as a true politician, "The Uptight Soccer Mom" will complain to the right people (the club owner) and convince them to not only repay her the money she paid to get in... but agree to comp her free entry into the next debate.

Superman, Batman, and Spiderman had it easy... they never had villains as horrible as this.

Bad Open Mic Chronicles: #1 The Inside Joke

Far and away the biggest reason for a fun show is the people on stage. If they can connect with the crowd and make them laugh consistently, week in and week out, that is the best drawing point you can have. Good performers will make good crowds. The performers deserve the lion's share of the credit when an open mic (or any comedy related show) does well.

BUT! Just like in any good Jennifer Aniston movie, there is always a but(t), atmosphere, lay out, and small details to a show can end up being the breaking point. And those things simply come down to the person/people running the show.

This is part one of many on things that I fail to understand yet have noticed (and have had other comics who attend many open mics second the opinion) that to me drag a show in a bad direction.

1: The Inside Joke:

Ever been standing around at a party where you only know a few people and throughout the night you hear others laughing at weird references as you stand their with a more blank face than The Blank from Dick Tracy? (I'm really starting to reach with these references.) Someone says, "Balls taste like bananas" and everyone cackles as you sit there and question if that has a separate meaning or was this person recently intimate with a much-to-do monkey. It's uncomfortable and when they inform you, "oh... I guess you jus had to be there" you tend to hate that monkey lover for the better part of the night.

An inside joke, on stage, that can be weaved in without the crowd catching wind you did it, is a fun thing comics do when repeating material to entertain each other, I get that, and support it. But when you do it on stage and it comes across like, "I'm only up here to entertain these three guys who came to sit up front for my set and will then return to the bar to make noises the second I'm done" - it makes people feel like like an outsider at a party.

If there is fifteen people at the show, and they all know each other, THEN let'er rip. It's not an inside joke if everyone gets it... it's just a joke. But, if there is even a couple of people there who won't understand it, don't make them feel unwelcome.

Instances I Have Seen

I have seen comics, who go on stage regularly, make references to another local performers material... when that performer isn't even on the show that night. I feel that needs repeated with pauses for dramatic effect. They make reference to... a guy no one in the crowd has probably seen... or if they have probably don't remember the jokes he did two or more weeks ago... and make reference to it in a "roasting" like fashion... when that performer is not even in the building.

On a slightly smaller scale, when someone makes a joke about a comic that is on the show... but hasn't performed yet. The regulars will get it, because they are familiar with the names and are probably acquaintances, if not friends, with most of the performers. To everyone else you might as well have been talking about the imaginary friend you had when you were eight (or still have... not judging). It's like making fun of a town someone is going to for the first time next week. Once they visit there, they might understand, but if they haven't been inside the city limits they aren't going to know what the town smells like.

How To Stop The Problem

People do Open Mic's to have fun. That's what they are for, it's a small thing and not everyone who goes on stage does, or should, take it seriously. You can't control what people say on stage before you know what they are going to say. From my basic understanding of physics as well as my growing and somewhat disappointing understanding in the lack of time travel, seeing into the future isn't possible. But after a few times to the plate, if the batter constantly swings at pitches low and away, pretty good chance they are going to swing away. Everyone, at some point, has made an inside joke on stage, it's natural when nervous to talk about what you know. I have found a simple, polite explanation generally solves this problem. Once you explain, that eventually if they continue to go on stage, they're friends won't be around to get those jokes... it does make someone want to broaden their jokes - because there is a universal truth in comedy, and that's when you start out, bombing is scary.

If that doesn't work... be blunt and just say, "Hey Doug... shut up... no one cares about your buddy Skeeter! (That was a reference to an old cartoon... which is a good pull if you use to watch it... but if you didn't... well... then you just wouldn't understand.)

________________________________________________________

**Disclaimer** This is NOT in any way meant to be taken as advice or fact. This is simply observations I have noticed and strictly opinion. I am in no position to tell any one, at any time, and in any field, what is correct and what isn't.

This Isn't Going To Work Out...

Performing to no laughs is a painful experience. The first few times it happens it feels like the ultimate form of rejection. After a string of them you are convinced there is some thing innately wrong with what you are doing. After a few good sets, it happens again, and you slowly dissect every small thing you did wrong. But you thinking rationally and convince yourself it went fine, and you will go and do it again next week.

Not too long ago, after performing to a large crowd where I literally heard a pen drop (the waitress was new at writing down orders) - I got off stage and felt indifferent. Not because the Army was likely to offer me a good sum of money for the huge tank I just received, but because I realized I simply wasn't that crowds cup of coffee. (I know... it's tea... but there is flavored coffee now... so it's accurate.)

I have begun likening performing to dating. You can be a fun person who has had successful first dates in the past, and be going on a date with someone who seems fun and upbeat. Then throughout the date... you have nothing in common. You use little tricks, go to certain places, and say certain things that have worked before... but this particular person isn't buying what you are selling. They like chocolate, you like vanilla. You're a homebody, they like going out. You like to drink, they have a one year chip on their key ring from AA. Simply... it isn't going to work out.

Now, could you make it work? Maybe... at least a little. But at some point you are both giving in a little to what you enjoy simply to make something work that has no legs, it becomes fake, forced, and desperate. At a certain point... both parties know it, too.

But also... a "date" can be going really well early on and then you say something mean, insensitive, or crude that just sets them down the unbeaten path... there was a fork in the road and you went into the Uncharted Forrest of Offensiveness. You had no way of knowing they would act so irrationally towards something, but the damage was done, and there is a good chance your date is going to hit the bathroom never to return againl... at least until you are gone and some one else is in your place.

You could take your date to the best horror movie in the world, and if they not only dislike horror movies, but are currently in the mood to watch a drama... it doesn't matter how good the horror movie is made, or how many other people have liked it before, they aren't going to get into it.

So the next time I am going to handle a bomb on stage the same way I would handle a bad date... by being completely rational and convince my friends it went fine... and that I'm going to see that person again next week.

Gimme That!

It's impossible to write a proper stand up comedy blog (because as we all know... standards for these things are mighty high) without touching on comedy theft. I have ran a decently successful open mic night for the past two years and in that time have ran across countless people (well... not countless, probably about 150-170 if you want to get mathematically technical... nerds) who went on stage. I can only remember a small handful of them trying to rip off others material.

I'll share some stories in a different update about people who help themselves to a two ears and a mouth discount (the cousin of the five finger discount), but let me throw out something that isn't much mentioned with joke thieves:

Some aren't to blame.

No one really says that - and don't get me wrong, what they are doing is a bad thing, but I honestly believe some of the people who sign up simply don't know any better. I'm not defending their actions, only their complete ignorance. They don't know enough about etiquette in the stand up world. In fact, there is a good chance the only time they have seen stand up comedy was either over fifteen years ago during the 90's boom, or three to five minutes at a time while flipping through channels when "Celebrity Rehab" was on commercial.

If no one tells them, "hey... this is why this is wrong" - they simply won't understand... and in my experience, even if you do tell them, they still don't understand. THAT is when they become laugh burglars.

Here is the rationale of ones who don't understand: "I watch bands cover songs, why can't I cover comedy?"

Which, in fairness, isn't the dumbest reason someone could have. Songs are creative expression, written and worked on by artists (...and hair metal bands) - so how does that pass off as vastly different than stand up comedy? Well... it doesn't. If you break it down, doing a cover of someone's song without their direct permission is a form of plagiarism, but different for two main reasons.

1. Doing cover songs has become pretty nationally accepted. I have to imagine the first few times someone did a show dressed as Elvis, covering all of Elvis's songs... some where, someone with a gold plated Elvis album hanging on their wall had to say, "this is bullshit." Songs are on the radio all day, in movies and TV, on youtube most of the time with the bands consent - it's basically public domain. Which leads to:

2. Everyone knows who the song belongs to. A local band isn't going to fire up "Crazy Train" by Ozzy and trick anyone into thinking they wrote it in the wee hours the night before. In fact, if they tried out the "B-side" of let's say a Drowning Pool album, most people might not instantly know it, but will still say, "Which band does this song?" At no point while hearing that is someone going to nudge a guy at the bar stool next to him and say, "give your cousin a call... this is that new sound he has been looking for." (Yes, that was me making a dig on Marty McFly being a complete asshole for ripping off Chuck Berry before ol 'Chuck ever performed Johnny B Goode. Time travel does not make plagiarism okay, butt head.)

Stand up bits, even some that are somewhat well known, are not going to be known by an average comedy club goer. Sure, if someone dove into Richard Pryor material or went into a Chris Rock impression... everyone is going to know. But if someone changed a word or two around then did two straight minutes of let's say an early Patton Oswalt bit... it's going to go completely unnoticed by the majority.

Here is the simplistic break down: One student hands the book, "The Cat in the Hat" to a teacher and says, "I couldn't come up with anything... but this is by Dr. Suess... let me read it to you." The second student hands in a re-written, sloppy, make shift pile of construction paper of the same book to the teacher and says, "this is The Dog in the Cap... I wrote it."

That's the person who can't claim ignorance... and good chance if you know someone like that who made you laugh while they were on stage... they can't claim their material either.

____________________________________________

*Disclaimer* This is not advice, a how-to manual, or in any way presented as fact. No one at my level (or to me.. at any level) should give "advice" about how to do stand up. This is simply opinions and things I have noticed along the way of performing stand up comedy.